(Written February 5, 2024 – Monday)

The Grammys were last night and there are a million things to talk about. One thing that I’d like to talk about though, is the announcement for Taylor Swift’s new album. Taylor Swift went to the Grammys last night and won Album Of The Year for her album Midnights. During her acceptance speech, she announced the upcoming release of her brand new album, The Tortured Poets Department. The Swifties clowned harder than ever but, unfortunately, the Swifties were terribly wrong. Since Taylor has been on her re-recording journey (the Taylor’s Version project) she has re-released 4 out of 6 “stolen” albums. The only two left are her debut album, Taylor Swift, and her sixth album, reputation. Reputation is undeniably the most highly anticipated of the final two and the Swifties have been clowning ever since the release of 1989 (Taylor’s Version). The Empire State Building has even partaken in this tomfoolery. Taylor has dropped many clues and given so many signs but we have misinterpreted all of them. You see, reputation and folklore are Taylor’s two black and white albums and since folklore was released under Republic Records, Taylor doesn’t have to re-record it. One of the clues Taylor (and friends) have dropped was her and her close friends – Travis Kelce, Blake Lively, Keleigh Teller, Jack Antanoff etc– black-and-white profile pictures on Instagram and beyond. Of course, everyone thought, “I smell Rep TV!”… And we were horribly wrong. That is one of the many signs she has shown that led up to the announcement of her new album along with her new-ish style in clothing, her Grammys outfit, her and Jack A. at the end of a video talking about Cruel Summer becoming a single, and other crazy Swiftie stuff. Taylor baited us and we were so in the wrong. Now, the Swifties have regained composure and are looking forward to TTPD. Long live, the Rep TV theories we made. Anyway, The Tortured Poets Department comes out Friday, April 19th at Midnight. The only thing known about the track list as of now is the bonus track, “The Manuscript.” All we know about TTPD is: the cover, some lyrics – via her Instagram, one bonus track, the album title, and the release date. Stay tuned for more updates!

Update: A couple hours after I wrote this, the track list was revealed. I may or may not write my predictions in a different news story or quick write but stay tuned. The track list is below!

1. Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)
2. The Tortured Poets Department
3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toy
4. Down Bad
5. So Long, London
6. But Daddy I love Him
7. Fresh Out the Slammer
8. Florida!!! (ft. Florence + the Machine)
9. Guilty As Sin?
10. Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?
11.   I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
12.  loml
13.  I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
15.  The Alchemy
16. Clara Bow
17.  The Manuscript (Bonus Track)

That’s all for now!

All’s fair in love and poetry…

Sincerely, The Chairman of the Tortured Poets Department