I wouldn’t be the same without all the experiences I’ve had. Let me tell you one that changed me and the way I see the world. My grandma Kay had cancer. She got cancer in 2012-2013. She was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. The doctor said she had one year to live at most. Every year the doctor said that she had months, maybe a year left if she was lucky. She beat the odds and survived for ten more years.

I remember that day exactly. We had just gone to Texas to see her. While we were in Texas she seemed the same. We talked, watched TV, and made breakfast and dinner for everyone. She seemed healthy. A week after, I remember waking up in the morning, it’s the middle of summer and we are back home, I go to the living room and I see my mom crying. I stop because my mom doesn’t cry. I ask if she’s ok and my dad comes in and says “I’m sorry but Kay died.” I crumple, I fall to the floor and don’t move. I hear people talking but I don’t understand any of it. My mom starts to plan the eight-hour trip to Texas so she can help with the funeral. I am thinking that I should have been there. I don’t think I ever got to say goodbye.

It was two days before we started the eight-hour trip down to Texas. I normally look out the window and talk but this time I just cry. It takes forever to get to Texas because everyone was hungry so we stopped by Mcdonalds. By the time we get to her house it is dark. We get out and start to unpack the car. When I go into her house, it feels empty without her. I sit down on the couch in the small living room and the smell of her lavender perfume is so strong. We are staying here for two weeks and every day it gets harder, because my mom started to organize her stuff so all the siblings, kids, and grandkids can look through and get what they wanted. My dad started going through one of the many bins full of photos which was hard to look at. Kay got her hair cut, and she has kept it short since I was one year old, so I never knew her with hair. Seeing her with hair as a child is hard because it makes me realize what she lost.

We go to the funeral. I remember not knowing almost anyone there. I was sitting in the back when this tall guy came up to me. He saw that I was crying, so he asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I don’t say anything, so he does a magic trick with cards that makes me smile. Then he walks away. Later I ask my mom who he was and she said “oh that’s kay’s brother, I haven’t seen him in forever”. The car ride back seems longer than the eight hours it usually is. I told myself that Kay was in a better place and she would be happy. It takes awhile for me to believe it, but I finally choose to believe it so that I could think about her and remember all the good things she did.
This changed me because I know that I can get through hard times and I’ll learn something from it. So, if you’re going through something similar, I just want you to know that it gets easier. I used to think I would forget them if I stopped thinking about them all the time but you can’t forget them, they will always be special to you and you will always have their memories.