My Struggle With Mental Illness

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My Struggle With Mental Illness

When you have GAD it feels like thoughts are crowding your mind.

When you have GAD it feels like thoughts are crowding your mind.

When you have GAD it feels like thoughts are crowding your mind.

When you have GAD it feels like thoughts are crowding your mind.

Caroline Harrison, Junior Reporter

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Have you ever struggled with something? Have you ever felt alone in this world, that you are supposed to feel something you’re not? Life is hard but I’m here to tell you aren’t alone. 

 

I struggle with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I started showing signs at a very young age. We didn’t catch it though until 6th grade. When I was younger I did dance but  I always got so nervous and anxious before performing. My mom thought it was just stage fright, I wish we caught it then. It started getting worse in the first trimester of 6th grade. I was going to school I started to feel numb, I started crying, I couldn’t move. My mother was asking what was wrong but honestly, I was so scared because I didn’t know. I didn’t go to school that day, we thought it was just that I was tired, but boy were we wrong. 

 

The odd thing was that the next day was normal. I acted like a normal person should go to school no crying no nothing. That happened a lot.  Normal days until I started showing my anxiety differently. I started closing myself off from the people I love the most. I was always quiet in public so that didn’t worry about my mom. When I said no to going to pick up my best friend Izzy she knew something was wrong. She did nothing though, it was the weekend she thought that sleep would help again. That weekend was the worst weekend I had. I started just going to my room not talking, eating, or doing anything with them. We went to go see my doctor that week. 

I was diagnosed with severe GAD. That’s when things got a little better. Knowing my illness was a little stepping stone. I had to go to therapy every week to help. I don’t think I could have gotten so far without my therapist or my doctors. I started feeling depressed like I was alone in this world. After that Nothing felt normal anymore because I missed a lot of days of school and people were starting to look at me like I was an outcast. It was hard but I knew that it would get better one day so that is what kept me going. I always kept all my feelings on the inside which I probably shouldn’t have done with my therapist. 

 

My doctor gave me Anxiety pills that are supposed to help with it. It didn’t work so we tried a higher dose it worked a little. I knew that this was not helping my mom so I did everything I could do to help with my disorder. Little by little they dosed me up to the highest dose they could give me and it worked. I started getting better a lot faster than I was before. The school year ended and I was ready for the summer.

 

That was the best summer ever. My family didn’t go anywhere. I got to work on my mental health and spend time alone and it worked really well. By the end of summer, I was going to school to help with my nerves. The school counselor Ms. Thuma was really helpful and supportive of this entire journey. By the first day of school, I was nervous but excited. The first day of school went by fast but I was having a hard time trying to get my head around trying an elective. By the 3rd week of school, I got to get an art class. I was anxious about going there because everyone was there before me. It turns out I wasn’t odd I was just like any other person in that class just a little late.   

 

Sometimes there are hard things that you have to deal with in your life. This was a big obstacle in my way of getting an education. I hope that this helps you to get over whatever obstacle is in your way to succeed. If you find that you are experiencing these links for help. Link  Link